Forgiveness

Forgiveness is, in its essence, the power of choice. Forgiveness is our power to divorce ourselves from the pain and anguish of the past and become new creatures. Forgiveness flies in the face of the dictum that people don’t change. People do change. Or at least they can. Any person at any time can decide that from some moment forward she-or-he will be a completely different person.

What forgiveness is not is an excuse. Forgiveness never denies the harm done in the crime or the selfish motive behind the act. In fact, there can be no forgiveness without an acknowledgement of both. What forgiveness does next, though, is says, "Yes this thing happened, but now it’s over… I’m going to accept it, learn from it, and let it go." Forgiveness may or may not do anything for the person being forgiven. But it always lightens and relieves the person who is doing the forgiving.

And it is this point that people most often miss. When you forgive someone, it liberates you, not necessarily the person you’re forgiving. Whether or not they are liberated by it is really up to them. If the person you’re forgiving is yourself, though, well then you get a double benefit from just letting bygones be bygones and moving on with your life.

I suppose some folks will find this idea impossible, even deplorable. But if Grandpappy can suffer as much as He did under trumped-up charges and still pray for the forgiveness of His enemies, then most of us who have never had to endure anything like that surely can forgive others and ourselves for offenses that pale in comparison. (Not that the nature of the crime should even be relevant, but I think you get the idea.)

Forgiveness can definitely make a person feel better, but there might still be habits of thinking and/or behavior that a person must rid her-or-himself of even after forgiveness is granted. The act of forgiveness isn’t really a panacea. But the choice to forgive at least opens the door to the hope of healing, while choosing not to forgive guarantees a lifetime of agony. And who wouldn’t take a possible gain over a guaranteed loss?

That’s really the great thing about forgiveness that Grandpappy tried to help everyone understand. The very worst thing you can say about it is that it can’t hurt anything to try it.