Fear and Loathing and Making a Difference
I'm feeling a little better. Partially due to this article: Owen Wilson News
I have to admit I've been going through a mix of feelings in relation to the whole Owen Wilson saga (on top of any of my own drama going on). I don't know the guy, and not sure I'd even consider myself "a fan"... though I loved him in "Night at the Museum". I really just see actors as people... I don't think I'm intimidated by the "fame" aspect of his persona. All and all, he'd be intriguing enough - seems nice enough from what I've seen that is - that he might be the kind of person I'd like to know. I suppose, like the people he knew, I was shocked to hear that he had attempted suicide.
Well, I've had thoughts before. The whole anger turned inward to a point of violence kind of thing... and so I had a very strong reaction to this. My first thought, was of course, that I wished I could at least write him a letter telling him about all of the positive things he meant to me personally or the good impressions that I've had.
As the news kept flooding out - some columnists just making me angry, talking about how they were tired of celebrity drama invading their lives etc... the news that made my head spin all over again was the ultimately respectful comment made by the LAPD on the 911 call: “In reaching this decision the City believes that in many instances no person should have to worry about whether placing a call for emergency assistance will automatically make his or her medical request open to public review,” ... "In situation such as this, the City concludes that the public is best served if medical attention is promptly sought instead of being delayed because of a concern, real or imagined, of public attention, regardless of whether that publicity is sympathetic or not.”
Sympathetic or not... wow. I realized I'd never really been "famous" or given much thought to the experience. Famous meaning that you never know if the people you are talking to (though they may appear nice) are friend or foe - and realized just how isolating that must be. Lonely in a crowd of people. How completely scary. Even if I could write that letter... just the fact that this person doesn't know me might be a cause of anxiety.
On a much, much smaller scale this made me think about friendship in general... and how do people overcome this kind of internal fear in order to reach out in trust?
How do you start to make the world a safe place for everyone?
On the opposite hand... there are still huge segments of the population held down by such things as prejudice. How do we fix the external fear?
Both are very huge obstacles. In my personal experience... much like the quote in Batman begins - "You always fear what you don't understand" rings true. It seems the more I understand about something I fear, the less I fear it. So internal fears of my own can be tackled by seeking the truth of a situation and finding coping skills to deal with the emotions until they play themselves out.
Dealing with "external fears" is a little trickier... It's funny how laughter and crying are really activating the same areas of the brain. I think both can be tools to break through prejudices to the truth... it's a tricky proposition though. A friend at work once said: "I think that fart jokes are probably our last good hope for world peace." Funny though that is to me... just by seeing all the varieties of comedy out there - some of which I don't find amusing at all... I realize that the same problem exists here. On the crying aspect (empathy) there are dramas - but again what constitutes a good drama? It's all subjective.
Violence, prejudice... at the root of it fear... how do we make it go away?
Maybe I'll have to be satisfied with the only answer that I've come up with ... that we do it one by one... through the people we know that we have the honor of sharing a trust with. We do it by learning about each other and of other's experiences... even through their pain.
Any thoughts? This is still churning around in my head, obviously.
I am sad for the things that Mr. Wilson has gone through. I am glad that he is recovering and that he has friends he can trust to help him through. Though I wish this never happened or for this fellow human being to experience a pain so deep, I am thankful that allowing myself to go through the pain of this experience just through knowing "of" the event - I've gained some new knowledge of respect, friendship, and trust. I suppose the conclusion I've come to in all this regarding Mr. Wilson - is that the best way I can honor the positive things he has given to me, would be to put this out here in public, anonymously... and should serendipity lead him here, perhaps he will see just by existing, even in his struggles - he has had a positive impact on my life. This event has given me an understanding that I did not have before and will allow me to be sensitive about such things in the future. I am thankful I trusted him enough - without knowing him - to allow him to "make me" laugh, and to cry. My opinion of you sir, has not diminished in the least - you are not a disappointment to me.
Making a difference
DL... you sure have a way with words. That was touching, no doubt.
re: "you always fear what you cannot understand" -- And 'tis true. People (we, us, them) are so afraid of what we don't know, to start making wild accusations and assumptions. And sadly, a lot of times our reaction is to hate. It not only cheats the people they hurt, it cheats themselves. This country was based on equal right for everyone. The foundations of our society will not crumble if people are treated with tolerance and respect and benefit the same right as everyone else. But we will crumble if we continue to hate and fear those unlike ourselves.
How to save a life?
To make the world a better place, you don't need to start big, you can start small. Big things start small, like a forest fire born from a tiny spark or flame. And *this* website-- a sound board to express thoughts and ideas. Allowing us to give a topic that will make each other think, which helps one become a better person and just try to make the world a better place. For some who want it as a place to express their view about God and many other topics, and ask questions, not critisize; others want it as a place just to read those thoughts and ideas. Very sentimental to me how many lives could have actually been touched we haven't a clue about in our lifetime.
I think we all want to make a difference, thus our written expressions, thoughts and ideas. People get to see that. And for this site to make even just one person feel comfortable sharing thoughts and opinions that someone else will undoubtedly read and even identify with--Whether it's a topic about science, philosophy, religion, etc. We're all friends here and want to explore and learn from each other. We can agree to agree, agree to disagree, even disagree to agree! The point is, it's SO important to learn from each other, even to recognize a new or different approach to something, even if you only realized you knew it all along. Someone just may need to hear it.