I concede...

By now most of you know that People magazine has selected Hugh Jackman as the sexiest man alive for 2008.

(Pause to give my supporters time to boo.)

I thought we fought a good fight.  We executed a good campaign.  But in the end we just couldn't compete with the Jackman machine.

(More booing.)

There, there, my friends... let's not be bitter.  After all, there is some cause for celebration.  For one thing, the winner this year has never been in an "Ocean's" film.  That's definitely a step up.

(Modest cheering for my clever zinger.)

But seriously, friends, let's not forget that this whole "sexiest man alive" business is re-evaluated every single year.  I've already thrown my hat in again for 2009...

 (Crazed applause.)

... and I'm certain if they're ready to pick someone like Jackman in 2008, they'll be ready to pick the GC in 2009.

(Wild abandon.  Like back when the Beatles were big.)

My friends... I do humbly congratulate Mr. Jackman on his enormous accomplishment... the first man ever to achieve "sexiest man alive" after having starred in a box office stinker like "Van Helsing".

(Scattered applause.  Someone yells, "We love you, GC.")

I'm proud to live in a country where someone can take a promising big budget debut (X-Men) and parlay it into an abysmal film career (Swordfish, Kate and Leopold, The Fountain) and then back the most ridiculous TV idea in history (Viva Laughlin) and STILL be named the sexiest man alive by a paragon of literary virtue such as People magazine.

(Cheers abound.)

I want you all to know that even though I've lost this race, being the sexiest man alive to all of you is more of an honor than any man deserves.

(Screams and fainting.)

In closing, I'd just like to thank all of you for your support throughout 2008.  I'd like to thank you in advance for your support through 2009.  And to show Mr. Jackman just how magnanimous we can be, I'd like to ask all of you to join me in watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine in May 2009!

(Mass adulation.)

Thank you.  God bless you.  And God bless the comic book movie industry!